Poetry Of Azrael

Breaking 

Life came to me like a ray of sunlight miraculously breaking through a black night, 
Like an egg slowly breaking open into light, 
Like an uncontrollable tear streaming down a blessed face, 
Angels sing in chorus, 
Life came to me like this, 
Out of darkness as seed I grew, 
Germinating, 
A fertile hunger for life breaking through, 
Life came to me like an owl gliding gracefully upon a turbulent breeze, 
Life battles fought and won, 
Now fluid ease, 
Life came to me and whispered in my ear, 
“Love yourself and I will love you, punish yourself and I will burden you with fear”, 
Life came to me and forced me to let go, 
Forced me into a place where I had to admit I didn’t and don’t know, 
Life comes to me on the backs of wild horses and tall trees, 
Life comes to me in open skies, 
Life comes to me right now as I see the beauty in your eyes, 
Life comes to me as I speak these words true, 
Life comes to me, 
Life passes through, 
Now life comes to you.  

Bosphorus 

Glistening, 
I am carried, 
As I rest upon the soulful murmurings of her watery heart, 
undulating restfully in the stillness somewhere between east and west, 
silvery nectars dancing sparkles of splaying sunlight, a call to prayer, 
the vastness of the blue sky, 
a deep mystery like magnetic gravitas pulling me slowly into her homely embrace, 
the vastness of the sky and a close warm embrace, 
it is between these poles that you will find us dancing, whirling, smiling and turning, 
for we are the warriors of deep water, 
we are inside of you and far beyond the limits of your mind, 
we reside in a place where only your imagination can find, 
Listening, 
I hear the call, 
I bow in honour of the water that has birthed us all, 
for we are born from tears of joy and pain, 
born from wonderous oceans and plentiful rains, 
from a raging storm and magical stillness, 
from our frozen dreams we awake into this amazing pilgrimage, 
that is our lives, every moment a privilege.. 
Glistening, 
I am carried.

A Moment In Time 

A song which gives rise and rebirth, 
what was once heavy and immoveable becomes light and whirling like a thousand ballerinas drawn into a heavenly light, 
a crack has appeared in this thick darkness that once felt like everything, 
now I see its just a moment in time, 
my gaze intently focused on the golden light pouring through the crack in the sky and together we rise, 
together we dance, 
together we fight, 
together we become one with the light.

Stand tall & Be Still 

Stand tall and be still, 
When the sky is falling and sunlight is finding only impenetrable shadows, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the plan has taken its last breath and you find yourself looking into the eyes of death, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the hurricane screams & the tsunami threatens to shatter your dreams, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When hope is far and all seems lost, 
When the desire to collapse seems to outweigh the cost, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the fire rages and who you think you are turns to smoke and ash, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the glass cracks, the fever breaks, your muscles ache, 
When the ground is trying to swallow you, 
Stand tall on a rock and be still, 
When you are stalked by hungry beasts, 
when you have nothing to eat, 
when bailiffs are banging on your door, 
letters from debt collectors mountainous on your floor, 
when it feels like every inch of life is asking you for more, more, more. 
Remain silent and listening, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When exhaustion hits and everything you have been holding starts weighing you down, 
Let it all go… 
stand tall and be still, 
When the fireworks of excitement and distraction come knocking on your door, 
Wave and smile from your window, 
Mouthing the words clearly, “Thank you but NO”, 
When feelings rise and tears rush from your eyes, 
Don’t go into it, 
Welcome the feelings and stand tall and be still, 
When the sun rises and your newborn is crying, 
Lift them to the sky… 
Stand tall and be still, 
When your heart, your only one takes her last breath, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the sun sets, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When its time to leave this world no regrets, 
Stand tall and be still, 
Stand tall and be still, 
Stand tall and be still, 
All of us together, 
Standing tall and being still.

The Unfolding  

I am this beauty, 
pouring and flowing through time and space, 
the texture of melted silk, 
crying and smiling, 
sailing across the ocean with no destination, 
just a heart that longs for something it has never known, 
just the feeling that I am not alone, 
mothered by music and melancholic moments, 
like a rose being carried by a river home, 
I call upon you life to unfold me, 
open my truth and carry me, 
show me my destiny, 
I trust you, 
I am listening, 
the first word that appears is hurt, 
I am hurt and this is not the last time that I will ever love and be broken open, life has a plan that will be revealed in time, 
this is my unfolding, 
this is my truth opening, 
rawness reveals itself in sunlight and service, 
My hands unfurl into a humble offering, 
This is my prayer, 
I turn now towards you life, 
I turn away from suffering and strife, 
I awaken to serve, 
I turn into light, 
This... is my life.

Listening To Life 

Listening To Life 

As I listen to life, as I receive from life, I become more present in my life. 
As I listen to life, as I receive life and as life receives me, I grow more alive. 
As I listen to life, growing in presence and growing in aliveness, my love grows, my heart swells and I energetically grow in size, the bigger I get, the more easily I can integrate difficult experiences and accept things as they are without the need to fight.  As I bow in honour of the power of life, surrendering my desires to the light of life and trusting that she knows best what comes next, all tension dissolves and I am carried on the crest of her beautiful waves.  

What stops me from moving forward in life? When I think I know better than life and feel that what I desire and dream is more important than what life wants for me, this is a kind of arrogance that can only lead to illness and suffering.  All physical and psychological illness is a symptom of fighting with life.  All issues and problems are symptoms of not listening to and respecting life. 

Why do I stop listening to life if it is harmful to me?  
Why do I take myself so important, thinking that what I want is more important than what life wants? 
Not listening to life and inflating the ego self is actually a survival strategy against feeling out of control, it is something we both develop and are conditioned with through personal and collective trauma.  It is very hard for us to accept that we are not in control of what happens to us mainly because we are afraid of dying and as long as we remain in the illusion of control then we will avoid facing our fear of death.  

When we are afraid of something or someone and we actively avoid facing that fear we actually bind ourselves even more deeply to that person or thing.  That which we reject we become.  So through rejecting death we all become unconsciously bonded with the unresolved traumas of our dead ancestors. We are often afraid to really live our lives fully for fear of being disloyal to the patterns in our family.  So we attempt to stay close to our family through making the same mistakes that they have but it does not bring success and happiness to our lives, nor does it help our family.  Rather than living more fully and freely out of our own life energy centres we often stay entangled in this negative loyalty to their mistakes, living out of these trauma patterns without even realizing it.  Playing out the past again and again in all kinds of relationships, trying to fulfil the unrealised dreams of parents & grandparents rather than living our own lives.

Speaking to the wildness of woman  

I speak now as a man and as myself, 
I am sorry that I oppressed you, 
I was afraid of your awesome power, 
I was afraid of being overwhelmed by my mother, 
So I manipulated and lied to keep myself 'safe', 
I was so afraid, 
I see now that your wildness is the miracle that gives birth to life itself,
Your wildness gave birth to me and I can never control it, no matter how hard I try, 
I can only bow in honour of the rainbows and stars that are born of your deeply beautiful chaos,
it is this wonderous wildness in me that is the doorway to my true self, I see this now. 
I am sorry for what I have done to you, 
thank you for giving me life, 
I commit my life to helping others (and myself) to reclaim this powerful wildness,
wilderness and deep connection with nature. 

May the atrocities that I have in the past committed now give birth to love,
healing and a deep reconnection with the earth mother. 

Please forgive me, I am sorry & thank you. 

Yours faithfully and sincerely, 
Your son, your brother, your lover, your friend.

 

Awestruck 

Childlike in your innocent fluidity, 
Dancing vibrant colours into this worldly insanity, 
The tips of your hairs reaching for stars, 
You are a dance of flames fantastically flickering bright sparks of faceless wonder, 
Wildness and wonder, 
Winds carry wounded women and they encircle you, 
They are whispering welcome, 
You thought you were tall but now you are surrounded by ancient trees your true size becomes apparent, 
Stars gently fall like snowflakes, 
Melting hopes and dreams, 
You are cradled gently by hands unseen, 
Your heart beats tears, 
You are surrounded, 
A slow song rises up through your being, 
I am taken without warning, 
Awestruck by the experience of beauty, 
Never has a dream felt so real to me, 
Never has stillness been so moving, 
Raw like wind blowing without sky, 
Prescient like starlight twinkling through space and time, 
Your eyes reach me, 
I am naked to you although you don’t physically see me, 
Your eyes like windows into a timeless place, 
A breathless wonder, 
A wilderness untouched, 
A fire unbridled, 
I light this candle, 
As you bow beside me.

Deep Orange 

Dancing in spirals of sunlight, 
I am the blossoming one, 
carried by ancient voices to unveil you now. 

Pointing your prayers towards melting orange, 
Your face hidden, 
Your uncombed hair framing deep beauty, 
Like a mystic gently embracing the magic of innocence, 
resting so silently and unseen in pristine prayer. 
I write you into existence, 
every word written here an honouring of your brilliance, 

The sun's deep orange celebrates your subtle and slender silence... 

I am beating slowly like the heart of the sun, 

You are the hands of God and I am the drum, 

I am a river running rhythmically into your epic oceanic reality, 
Into your expanse I sink and disappear, 
I transpire, 
into light I am no longer here, 
but my heart it still beats and its wings will take flight as I receive into my soul the deep beauty of life, 
I am carried by love and a longing to be, 
forever in the experience of your deep beauty. 

Anu Azrael

Embrace 

I hold the beauty of this earth in a warm embrace, 
As her magnifence penetrates, 
hands open wide and receiving, 
colours delicately expand into space, 
tears stream down my face, 
She is inside of me, 
I am as beautiful as this place, 
I look into the eyes of the lake, 
I am suddenly overwhelmed by the beauty of her grace, 
as she smiles my heart aches, 
I pray and give thanks to the weight of all the yesterdays, 
My wild alive innocence now resonates, 
my colours delicately expanding into space, 
I hold you now, 
in a warm embrace.