Poetry Of Azrael

Speaking to the wildness of woman  

I speak now as a man and as myself, 
I am sorry that I oppressed you, 
I was afraid of your awesome power, 
I was afraid of being overwhelmed by my mother, 
So I manipulated and lied to keep myself 'safe', 
I was so afraid, 
I see now that your wildness is the miracle that gives birth to life itself,
Your wildness gave birth to me and I can never control it, no matter how hard I try, 
I can only bow in honour of the rainbows and stars that are born of your deeply beautiful chaos,
it is this wonderous wildness in me that is the doorway to my true self, I see this now. 
I am sorry for what I have done to you, 
thank you for giving me life, 
I commit my life to helping others (and myself) to reclaim this powerful wildness,
wilderness and deep connection with nature. 

May the atrocities that I have in the past committed now give birth to love,
healing and a deep reconnection with the earth mother. 

Please forgive me, I am sorry & thank you. 

Yours faithfully and sincerely, 
Your son, your brother, your lover, your friend.

 

Awestruck 

Childlike in your innocent fluidity, 
Dancing vibrant colours into this worldly insanity, 
The tips of your hairs reaching for stars, 
You are a dance of flames fantastically flickering bright sparks of faceless wonder, 
Wildness and wonder, 
Winds carry wounded women and they encircle you, 
They are whispering welcome, 
You thought you were tall but now you are surrounded by ancient trees your true size becomes apparent, 
Stars gently fall like snowflakes, 
Melting hopes and dreams, 
You are cradled gently by hands unseen, 
Your heart beats tears, 
You are surrounded, 
A slow song rises up through your being, 
I am taken without warning, 
Awestruck by the experience of beauty, 
Never has a dream felt so real to me, 
Never has stillness been so moving, 
Raw like wind blowing without sky, 
Prescient like starlight twinkling through space and time, 
Your eyes reach me, 
I am naked to you although you don’t physically see me, 
Your eyes like windows into a timeless place, 
A breathless wonder, 
A wilderness untouched, 
A fire unbridled, 
I light this candle, 
As you bow beside me.

Deep Orange 

Dancing in spirals of sunlight, 
I am the blossoming one, 
carried by ancient voices to unveil you now. 

Pointing your prayers towards melting orange, 
Your face hidden, 
Your uncombed hair framing deep beauty, 
Like a mystic gently embracing the magic of innocence, 
resting so silently and unseen in pristine prayer. 
I write you into existence, 
every word written here an honouring of your brilliance, 

The sun's deep orange celebrates your subtle and slender silence... 

I am beating slowly like the heart of the sun, 

You are the hands of God and I am the drum, 

I am a river running rhythmically into your epic oceanic reality, 
Into your expanse I sink and disappear, 
I transpire, 
into light I am no longer here, 
but my heart it still beats and its wings will take flight as I receive into my soul the deep beauty of life, 
I am carried by love and a longing to be, 
forever in the experience of your deep beauty. 

Anu Azrael

Embrace 

I hold the beauty of this earth in a warm embrace, 
As her magnifence penetrates, 
hands open wide and receiving, 
colours delicately expand into space, 
tears stream down my face, 
She is inside of me, 
I am as beautiful as this place, 
I look into the eyes of the lake, 
I am suddenly overwhelmed by the beauty of her grace, 
as she smiles my heart aches, 
I pray and give thanks to the weight of all the yesterdays, 
My wild alive innocence now resonates, 
my colours delicately expanding into space, 
I hold you now, 
in a warm embrace.

WE 

Yesterdays global Society was… 
Standing tall in its powerful mechanisms of constant movement,
like the arms of a muscle bound man reaching, tight and tense,
single minded, 
His cold head so high in the sky behind glass that he could not really make out the voices of those of us on the ground,
So solid and focused on his goal he was, 
His ambition to succeed propelling him forward with ever greater force,
He could only see his destination, 
everything else faded into the background,
into a dull humming silence,
he was blind to the cries of the forgotten ones who lay bleeding at his feet. 

There are those who screamed injustice, 
angrily fighting for the rights of those who bled. 
They mistrusted him, 
they raged at him, 
they challenged him, 
the lefties and the hippies, 
the rebels and the misfits, 
the conspiracy theorists and the supposed spiritualists. 
They stood on street corners crying “liars”, 
outside corporations blocking entrances, 
infiltrating social media,
lighting fires and smashing glass,
gathering in hoards outside government buildings,
marching on the banks,
these streets are ours,
that’s not what democracy looks like, 
this is what democracy looks like, 
and his foundations were shaken, 
sometimes the bleeding of those at his feet was stemmed,
sometimes we saved people from bleeding at all,
and sometimes his direction was incrementally influenced yet he continued to move forward towards his goal,
unperturbed by the many cries below. 
Nothing could radically change his mind except time. 
This was our reality. That was yesterday. 
We has been ignorant for too long, 
this cancer has come to claim those of us who 
are not listening to the deeper needs of our 
bodies and the earth, this once muscle 
bound man whose energy so strong,
is on his knees now,
he is lost and drowning and now we can see his eyes and he can hear us, 
so put down your protest signs and rageful words, 
let go of your cynicism and rebellious anger, 
quiet your conspiracy theories and political truths, 
we don’t need this now,
now is not the time to 
challenge him,
for he lies in every hospital bed, 
he stares out anxiously from behind every curtain, 
for now as we look into his eyes finally we can see 
that we are him and he is we, 
its time to love each other now, 
its time to support each other now, 
what the world needs right now is love, 
what the world needs right now is positivity, 
what the world needs right now is you.

Diamond 

Never has a heart bled light like this, 
Punching through my soul your shining face imprints a hole, 
Ever had your heart squeezed by invisible hands? 
A darkened figure stands and whispers soft vulnerable pleas, 
Ever loved a flower so much that you pray until your hands stick together that it never wilts? 
Spray it with hardening glue so it always remains in bloom but then it can’t breathe, 
Ever lost a friend so true? 
Ever sung a song so blue? 
Never has a heart bled light like this. 

This whirling heart bleeds, 
Like a diamond slowly turning and exploding light in all directions, 
Sunshine finds its way inside me, 
To a place that needs soothing, 
If my heart had eyes he would be looking at yours, 
Tear-filled with wonder and awe, 
Bowing in deep honour, 
But my heart’s eyes fall on empty space, 
You are not there, 
Your old skin lying torn and worn on the floor, 
Your familiar smell dying down, is no more, 
Like a fire ready to take its last breath, 
In amongst the ash and charcoal, 
A precious stone still hides there, somewhere, 
Never has a heart bled light like this.

Body 

I am glowing flesh and golden bones. 
I am blissfully dancing in this body my home. 
I am alive liver and clear river kidneys. 
I am breathing blood and abundant heart. 
I am infinite skin and divine art. 
I am digestive ease and a relaxed stomach. 
I am a compassionate mouth chewing fully and slowly before I swallow it. 
I am open eyes and a clear blue sky. 
I am the trees & the plants, I am space and time. 
I am clay resting on earth. 
Essence dancing silently upon sacred hearth. 
I am honouring this vessel that my mother gave birth. 
I am alive in here. 
Life carries my body towards destiny. 
My body carries me. 
Who am I? 
& Who do I carry?

 

I am light 

I am light.
Not these broken pieces of my heart's shield, painful and bleeding, collapsed and needing,
I am light.
Resilient and strong like the twinkling of stars in the darkest of nights.
I am light.
A fluid presence and unique expression of life.
I am light.
Not the struggle nor the fight.
I recognise both sides and melt ice for I am light.
I am not labels and ideas, nor am I stereotypes.
I am unknowable. I am powerful. I am the same as all of you.
I am light.

Appreciation 

I appreciate that I own a beautiful home & that I live in a beautiful home.
I appreciate having a nice car, 
I appreciate having so many beautiful gifts, 
Gifts of Poetry,
Gifts of song,
Gifts of healing skill, 
I appreciate death for reminding me to live and life for reminding me that I am not in control, 
I appreciate nature and its deep connected-ness to existence,  
I appreciate the open sky and the vastness of space that opens up to me when I look there and imagine myself,
I appreciate knowing such wonderful people in this world,
having such wonderful inspiring friends,
I appreciate those closest to me,
I appreciate those who take the risk of exposing themselves to me and who accept me for who I am,
I appreciate the sun for shining his gold upon the land, filling me with warmth and smiling,
I appreciate the birds for reminding me that there is no limit to our relationship with empty space,
it is there for us to glide through,
riding upon the wings of beauty,
there is no need to be afraid of the emptiness,
I appreciate my heart for loving so courageously,
for guiding me into such unique adventure,
for drawing me towards my destiny and helping me to attract what and who I need to attract in this life in order to more fully realise my highest potential as a human being,
I appreciate my father for teaching me how to feel,
I appreciate my mother for teaching me how to be,
I appreciate the land and light of my ancestors for teaching me how to digest suffering and continue moving forward in life, I appreciate my passion for carrying me so passionately,
I appreciate everyone and everything that has gone before me for leading me to this beautiful moment right now and letting me experience it totally,
I appreciate the small things in a day,
a bird singing sweetly,
a sun ray breaking through a dark moment,
the warm taste of tea as a I write this and my heart resting in this beautiful,
fluid, open and unfolding appreciation.. 
AA