There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster”

— Dalai Lama

Dissolving into the Light of Auschwitz

The Beginning: Sharing my experience in Auschwitz

7 Years ago I saw a video of a Butoh dancer Atsushi Takenouchi who travelled the world dancing in extreme environments and conditions. I recognized the growth potential in this act and was inspired by this dancers deep passion for both dance and the extremities of life and death.  In one of the photographs of his travels I saw him dancing half naked in Auschwitz Concentration Camp in Poland.  This moved me so deeply that I set out towards Poland within a week to dance at Auschwitz.  At the time I was dating a Polish girl who was actually from a nearby city to Auschwitz, Częstochowa.  I only had 48-hours to visit before I had to fly to India via Turkey. I ended up going out and realizing the amazing beauty of Polish Vodka and abhorrent next day of the Polish hangover. So I never made it there. I know, hilarious.  Life is sometimes like this. 

More recently I have trained in Systemic Ritual which works a lot with and inside collective trauma fields.  
The book 'Tears Of The Ancestors' By my teacher Daan Van Kampenhout offers a first chapter about being in Auschwitz on a retreat bearing witness to the darkness of the place in service of healing and expanding awareness. Daan claims that for him being there brought him to a feeling of such great space within, that he had never experienced with any spiritual practice he had encountered.  This was inspiration enough for me to get kicked into action again.  For growing in awareness of heart is my life's mission and purpose, for me there is nothing more important.

Whilst in an Osho Presence of Heart retreat in Denmark I read this chapter about Auschwitz and being that I had 5 days free after the retreat and my car with me, I decided to use the retreat to prepare my soul for being in Auschwitz.  On making this decision, I had several (what could be described as) past life memories rise up for healing around being in Auschwitz. The details of which I will not share here, it is still very fresh and needs space to shift privately.  Half the retreat I spent stuck frozen behind a steel door that was impossible to open.  Not an easy experience.  One truth that was coming through strongly in this preparation period was that I am not alone, that this journey does not have to be taken alone.  This was when I decided to put a message out to my mailing list and create a facebook event and BLOG, so we all journey there together. 

Many people might ask themselves. Why would I go to a place where such horror and misery has occurred? What possible good can come of it? Shouldn't we just leave the past in the past and forget about these horrible things?
I will tell you why I went. I believe that the difficult frequencies of trauma resonance that might be left over in places where great tragedy has occurred offer us great opportunity to grow and expand with much greater force into the light, into the essence of truth, wisdom and universal being.  I am a light worker and it is my work to move towards difficulty with compassionate awareness, in this movement I grow and those I move towards are also helped in some way, though not because I intend it, only because it is so.  True help is never given, it happens. 

Whilst I was on this journey, this blog was my lifeline, here I shared most of what happened for me. Feeling, impressions, experiences, poems and whatever else rose up out of the experience.  I really appreciated that people read my posts and left comments in response, even opening conversations with me, it felt like I had a circle of support in this journey and that we were all connecting to the experience in some way.  I trust this movement we made together brought healing and peace to us and our ancestors. For these collective traumas touched a whole generation of all nations and religions, that we are all connected to and can learn from. In some way we are all Jewish, we are all Nazi and we are all everything in between. 

An old poem dedicated to my Pilgrimage

Dedicated by Veronique

There, at Auschwitz, far from the Vistula, 

love, on the northern plain 

in a field of death: funereal, cold, 

rain on the rusted poles, 

and a tangle of steel fences: 

and no…

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The End or The Beginning?

Day 4. The final chapter of this mini-pilgrimage or is it the first page of some longer movement in my life?
Last night at 2am there was a crazy drunk guy with no shirt running around the 24hr car…

Poems from Birkenau Auschwitz II

Shivering loneliness, 
Deprived of silence, 
Starved of innocence, 
Sticky black tendrils crawling deeper into my ears, 
Hearing Screaming, 
Cries of terror filled sunshine, 
Light beams dreaming, 
Shedding light on faces frozen in time, Dust particles dancing, 
Old skin and bone…

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Birkenau Auschwitz II: Sick Souls Find Peace

Last night I worked out which part of the 24hr car park opposite Auschwitz I had the best shadow in early mornings, so I awoke several times this morning feeling very pleased with the cool temperature and lazily dozed back

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Sharing ~ Reuniting a mother & daughter in peace

I feel like these first 48hrs in Auschwitz have been a bit of a whirlwind of information, historical narratives and initial impressions.  I have needed to run around getting a bit clearer about what actually happened here and how it…

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The Shadow Of Humanity Part 3 ~ Jewish

The very thought of being a Jew during this time in Nazi occupied territory sends shivers down my spine.  The level of fear for my life and the lives of my brothers and sisters on such a massive scale, it…Read more

The Shadow Of Humanity Part 2

As I sit outside block 16 in Auschwitz I, where there is an exhibition of the tragedy of Slovak Jews and prisoners from Bohemia at Auschwitz, a leaf gently floats down from the tree I am sitting underneath and I…Read more

The Shadow Of Humanity Part 1

Injustice and horror is the focus of today's visit. Being present with it. Without running towards the liberation period, without looking at those that put up resistance and focusing on the hope that still existed there inside of those tortured…Read more

Auschwitz ~ Place of Pure Light

It is 1:30am and I am 9km from the front gate of Auschwitz according to maps on my phone, although for the past 6 hours my phone has been freezing up every 10 minutes so I could be right on…Read more

The Beginning: Sharing my experience in Auschwitz

7 Years ago I saw a video of a Butoh dancer Atsushi Takenouchi who travelled the world dancing in extreme environments and conditions. I recognized the growth potential in this act and was inspired by this dancers deep passion for…

Read more